Say that again to yourself and let it sink in. Those three words have always resonated with me. If you’ve spent any time in these rooms, you’ll know that they are from Chapter 5 of the Big Book, “How it works”:
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!
Big Book, Chapter 5
I’ve been sober for twelve years and eight months and have never been more grateful for anything. It’s about 2:00a and I’ve just awoken from a horrible dream.
For some odd reason I’m driving around Atlanta (where I grew up) in the back of a limo. My wife and I had been out at some event and decide to part ways for some reason – she goes on home by herself and I end up in the limo. I decide that I need a beer and ask the driver to pull into Beer City, a beer city mega warehouse that I have no idea whether exists or not. My dog is in the back of the limo and looks up at me and says, “this is a bad idea”. No kidding.
The driver can’t find the place, but eventually he pulls up to Beer City and they’re closed. Then some guy comes up to the limo and says, “hey, y’all want some beer?” And then he opens the door to the store. I go to open the door of the limo and can’t get out as the driver has parked in a tight alley and there is no room to open the door on either side. I end up climbing out the sunroof (completely sounds like something I’d do when drinking) and wander into Beer City.
Every single person in the place is somebody I went to high school with (and drank with). I decide that I want a six pack of Heineken and simply cannot find it anywhere in this huge megastore. I finally see a separate room with the green label of Heineken and go towards that room, but a woman says I can’t go in their with my dog because there are a bunch of cats that live in the room. Another guy comes over and says that he’ll go get me the beer. He goes in and comes out a few minutes later with the wrong kind. We go back and forth discussing just what it is that I want and somehow my order grows from a six pack to a 12-pack to a case, to two cases. Again, exactly the kind of thing I did in my drinking days.
I head for the cashier and wake up a few moments later and I’m looking into the kind face of my dog. She’s sitting next to my bed and has apparently just nuzzled me with her snout and woken me up. She’s got to pee and wants to go outside. Or, maybe, just maybe, she knew that I needed to be woken up and pulled right outta that dream.
Man, I needed that as this was a crazy dream. I rarely dream, and I woke up feeling awful. I literally laid here for a moment shaking and then was overcome with gratitude that this was just a dream. And gratitude for my sobriety.
Now I don’t know if bad things would have happened if I had made it past the cashier, but – really – when has anything good ever happened *after* leaving the liquor store? What’s most amazing about this dream is the way that I felt in the dream. I simply couldn’t wait to crack open a cold one. I hadn’t thought about drinking for YEARS.
Good Lord, alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.