Recovering Alcoholic

Yep, that’s me.  I had to run right out and get a blog so that I could talk about my experiences in trying to stop (again and again and again and again) drinking.  I don’t know if anyone is reading these posts as I haven’t advertised the blog in any fashion (although I’ve gotten a *ton* of comments from bots and even some that were tuned into the recovery nature of this blog in an attempt to get me to approve the bot to post – more on that later…), and it’s been about eight months or so since I last posted.  The good news? It’s been nine months (nine months seventeen days if you’re counting!) of sobriety.  I have had two periods of extended sobriety in my life – the last one was nine months and the one before that was four years.  Other than that? I’ve pretty much drank most days for the last thirty years.  So I’m experiencing an anniversary of sorts at the moment – I’ve eclipsed one of my prior records of sobriety.  I’ll be thrilled when I beat the next milestone, although it’s a day by day thing for me at the moment.

So… what have I been doing for the last nine months or so? For the first 90 days or so I attended an AA meeting every day.  I have attended two different weekend retreats, a great Big Book Conference, and I’ve thought a lot about myself.  Folks say that AA is simple – that you only have to do three things – stop drinking, go to meetings, and then change everything about yourself.  Man – is that true or what? Continue reading →

And it’s been pretty quiet here at recovering-alcoholic.com.  I’ve thought often of blogging over the last many weeks, but haven’t made the time to sit down and do it.  As a matter of fact, I’ve consciously steered away from it – I’m probably at the computer every night for a few hours and it’s not like I haven’t had the time.  So…? Where have I been? I’ve been sober.  I haven’t been drinking.  I’ve been attending lots of meetings – I’ve decided on “ninety in ninety” with the goal of attending at least one meeting a day for 90 days.

I’m learning a lot about the program and myself in these meetings.  It’s rare that I don’t listen to the experiences of a fellow alcoholic at Step meetings and see myself or my story.  I have had a few “ah ha” moments over the last six weeks and am working my way through the steps.  I suppose it’s more appropriate to say that I have accepted Step 1:  We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that are lives had become unmanageable and am now thinking about the rest of the steps.

More later.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for helping me to not drink today.

dan

Two weeks is not much time, I know.  But two weeks means there have been fourteen days where I just didn’t drink today.  There have been periods in my life when I have not drank – even once a 4+ year period – yet all those other times were times that I did it by myself and I didn’t have the knowledge, the courage, or the fellowship of my new friends at AA to guide me along the way.  I am attending lots of meetings  (I have one in about half an hour right down the road) and I’m meeting people from all walks of life, yet we all have one thing in common – the desire to lead the life of sobriety.  All of the individuals that I have met in AA I’ve known for less than two weeks, yet I feel closer to many of these men and women than some of the people that have been in my life for twenty years.

The fellowship and the common foe mean a great deal to me.  I’ll expand upon this more in a later post, but for now, I’m out the door.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for helping me to not drink today.

dan

A grand title, I know.  I do not mean me, my life, or my story so far.  You are joining me at a time in my life when I have had enough of the insanity.  Insanity, as a friend from AA reminded me recently, is continuing to do the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results.  This journey begins on February 28, 2010 – a Sunday.  I woke up and said for the 1,000th time, “Lord, please help me stop my drinking.  Why do I do this?”

The time had come – I have known for many a year that I was an alcoholic, yet I was afraid to voice it lest people think less of me.  Those that knew me well enough – those the closest to me, those that I love, and those that love me – well, they knew it too.  Most of that day, Sunday, I loafed around the house.  I did some research on the internet to find local meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and found well over 50 meetings a week in my area.  I attended the first meeting after my ten+ year hiatus away from my initial foray into AA on Monday, March 1st.  Today is the 13th.  I have attended eleven meetings since then and have found a sense of peacefulness that I would not have thought possible only a few weeks ago.

I should say that I do not expect a miracle “cure”, nor do I think that a few meetings will solve my problems.  You will hear more about my problems as we go on, I’m sure, but I hope to share with you my sobriety as well.  You might think that I am an ambitious “non-drinker” now since I have run right out and gotten a fancy domain name and gone to all the trouble to setup this website.  Yes, I am ambitious about a lot of things, I know.  It is one of my character defects.  I am an ambitious drinker too.  What you are reading now, though, is an alternative to me drinking.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for helping me to not drink today.

dan